kangae

Thinking what I had gone through this year…

I can say that it was one heck of a year„, gone through a lot, parang roller coaster or space shuttle sa lahat ng pinagdaanan ko. May masaya pero may nakaapekto din sa akin ng matindi, na akala ko mababaliw ako.

Got sick from an unknown cause.

Lost my sun, universe and everything.

I almost thought that I would get crazy, that crying was never an option, and trusting people easily was like piercing a sharp knife in your heart.

Totoo pala ung sabi nila na time could heal everything, but a simple and sincere sorry is still something. Understanding the situation of other people, before ka maglitanya at singilin ako sa utang na hindi ko ginawa.

I’ve became independent, too independent that i’m getting scared to trust people and share a little of myself to them.

Kuminsan unfair din ako sa sarili ko kasi, i can’t feel real happiness, afraid that I might loose it the next morning anyways.

Kuminsan, gusto ko na magkwento ng mga nangyayari sa akin pero natatakot akong baka i-backstab ako ng taong pagkukwentuhan ko, piling-pili lang ung taong napalagayan ko ng loob at napagsasabihan ko ng lahat ng nangyayari sa buhay ko. Just hopes he won’t do anything bad. hehehe

Just when I lost my sun, I’ve been trying to create an artificial one for me to continue on living. Trying to cope up with things and open up a little of myself to people, but still getting paranoid that these people might betray me.

Next year, my goal is to repair myself and set goals to see my sun again.

A promise is a promise, I might fool around a little, but in the end I’ll abide to my promise until I see you again.